Letting Go
by iceheartprincess
Summary: I still love you Natsume... I'm letting you go... For real... one-shot Read and Review Please


**Letting Go**

**By: Mhaya**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice**

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I'm Mikan Sakura. I've already shared to you guys my love life. Or you guys need a recap?

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Okay, for starters, I fell in love with Natsume Hyuuga. He asked me to be his girlfriend but I felt that I wasn't ready yet so I rejected him. I thought that he would understand my decision but unfortunately… he didn't. He avoided me like a plague. He ignored me. Arggh! The jerk! Anyway, I was getting tired of chasing him around so I just planned for revenge. One of my suitors, Ruka Nogi courted me for about ten days and I immediately accepted him as my boyfriend. I thought that I could make Natsume jealous but I realized that I was just fooling myself and so is Ruka. I talked with Ruka and I said that I was just using him and I don't really love him. He got extremely hurt and I hated myself for that. After that, I've reached my limit and decided to give up. Graduation came and all I could do is to look at him from afar. He told me that they're moving away from here but I really didn't care. The next year, he visited me… After that, we don't have any communications at all.

Recently, I received an email from him. Just a simple 'Merry Christmas' made my heart fluttered. I received his message last December and it was now November! Natsume's birthday to be exact. I emailed him a simple 'Happy Birthday'. And I got an immediate reply. 'Thanks! Miss you!' I was so happy that I took a picture of his message. I'm crazy alright. I emailed him another message asking him how he's been and etc. Until now, he hasn't answered me yet.

All this time, I am waiting…

I realized that I was still clinging to the past…

All this time, I am still in love with him…

But you know…

I'm tired…

My friend Hotaru told me to move on. She said that I should know by now that I'm the only one waiting. She is so sure that Natsume has already moved on. She even called me stupid!

Of course I know all of this! All this time I know that he didn't wait for me! Heck! I didn't even know if he even loved me! I know I'm stupid! She didn't have to say that to my face!

Anyway…

I guess I'm ready to move on…

But wait! How should I start?!

I think…

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And think…

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Then I cried. I hope that this would be the last time that I would cry… For him…

I tried to recall the days that we've spent together…

Those moments when he was avoiding and ignoring me…

And the time that I was smiling happily… With him…

Those bitter sweet memories made me cry and at the same time, made me smile…

I touched my face and noticed that I'm no longer crying…

I think that this would be my step one in letting him go…

I rested my head on my pillow and looked at the ceiling. I guess I would be just fine…

Before I finally let him go, I wish to see him one last time… then, I drifted to a deep slumber.

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The next morning, I found myself sitting at a bench in the park. People around me were so happy. Good for them… Sigh… I envy them…

I was lost in my own world when someone tapped my shoulder. I looked at the person…

My eyes widen in shock…

The person was no other than Natsume Hyuuga himself!

I tried to compose myself and smiled.

He sat in the bench and so did I.

He tried to start a conversation by saying 'Hi! It's been a long time huh'

'Yeah' I finally said

I don't know what I'm feeling! Excitement? Anger? Love? Eh?! Love?! I thought I already moved on! I shouldn't feel any love for him!

'Have you already moved on?' Natsume suddenly asked

Wait? What should I answer? I finally moved on right?

'Yeah' I nodded my head

'Really? Me too.' He said

My heart was broken into pieces… I shouldn't have said that I already moved on!

'Good for you.' I said while smiling at him. Trying hard to hide the pain

'I got to go. I just wanted to know if you're okay' He said then walked away.

I just sat there motionless… I kept on thinking whether to go after him or not… Even if I wanted to chase after him, my body won't move…

'Natsume!' I shouted

'Natsume! Don't go!' I shouted again.

I finally moved my body. I run after him and found out that he was already in a taxi. I run and run while shouting his name. The taxi is so fast. There's no way I could catch it. I was still running and suddenly I tripped. I was crying… 'Natsume… I still loved you' I murmured to myself.

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I woke up. I was still crying… So, it was all I dream…

Even in a dream, I still screw things up huh. Great! Just great!

I am still crying. I'm really stupid. Not to mention 'pathetic'

This would be the very last time that I will cry for him…

I wiped my tears and started to laugh. My gosh! I'm going crazy!

I wished to see him one last time and it ended up seeing him in a dream. I guess that God misinterpreted my wish. But, anyway, I already saw him and that was enough…

I guess that even God wanted me to move on and let go huh.

I stopped laughing and said to myself… 'I'm letting him go… For real…'

I went back to sleep with this final thought:

Wherever he may be…

I wish he's happy…

For me…

That's more than enough…

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**Mhaya: Okay guys. Moving On and Hoping are based on a true story. This story is partially true and partially not. I've thought of the dream part and everything else is my friend's experiences. **

**I hope you've enjoyed reading this story. Don't forget to review!**

**Oh! I almost forgot! My friend is seeking for an advice about moving on and such. I can't give her anything because I don't really know what should she do. Anyway, if you are interested in giving her some simple advices, you can PM me your email ad and we can talk about this moving on stuff. If you are interested, we can also be friends!**

**Anyway, Take care! **


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